Britney's Dance Beat
Reviewed by MaxH
You'll all have heard at least one of Britney's songs
in the few years she's been about. It's unavoidable.
You'll probably have heard just about every single
one of them get to the number one spot in every
single country. She's a popular singer, Britney, so
surely she deserves her own piece of videogame
memorabilia! And no-one serves up licensed tat better
than publishers THQ and developers Art.
BDB is a rhythm action game using five of Britney's
most popular songs. While a rough animated Britney
sprite stands center screen, moving about in spasms
like a mentalist, you must concentrate on the wheel
'o music (As I have dubbed it myself). Basically a
green radar-type line will move around a circle which
will be filling up with little pictures of the A and
B button. When the line moves across the button
symbol, you must press that button.
Yes, this is it. Having to press only two buttons for
the entire duration of the game (And the fact that
the wheel doesn't move all that fast) makes BDB
something less than challenging, and not really much
fun. It's okay for a little go now and then, and
there's no technical problems, it's just staggeringly simple.
The graphics are very, very limited and not all that
amazing. Britney herself is a scary little cat-suited
pseudo-3D sprite. And, contrary to popular belief,
can't dance to save her life. In real life she may
stretch and fling her limbs quite impressively, but
here she just looks like someone whose had ants
thrust down their catsuit, or is trying to scratch a
difficult itch on their back, or is just an obvious
lunatic. The backgrounds don't change either. Very dull.
If you like Britney's music, it's likely you'll quite
like the MIDI versions they've thrown in her. Her
most popular songs are here and, while the piercing
synth whine that replaces her vocals are annoying,
they have turned out better than expected. Hate her
music as you may, it's hard not to hum along sometimes.
There are some terrible little photos and movie clips
to collect, and a sliding puzzle to play. But really,
I couldn't care less about christmas cracker puzzles
and bad quality photos, and I can't imagine anyone
else could either. What it comes down to is a
perfectly playable, listenable dance game with no
variety, no style and a satanic Britney who is
obviously having a violent fit. This is a Britney
souvenir, not a proper videogame.
Overall: 4 out of 10